"It feels safe here ate home. Too safe." These are my first thoughts when I exist the car back at Ytterjarna. The nature is beautiful yet tamed here, and its almost surprising that when I walk I don't have move aside branches and brush. The floor feels unnaturally flat when I take my fist steps into our house.
I'm so tired. I take a shower cringing in the heat and step out so clean.
Everything is so clean.
All that is left that speaks of the woods is the water in my water bottle. Theres a lingering aftertaste of smoke from the boiling, mixed with bits of debris.
But even that is gone now. Kalani dumps it out and refills it fresh, and when I drink I can actually taste that the water is now clear instead of muddy brown.
The computer seems boring yet necessary, and I find myself trying to make sense of dates and times while sorting laundry. Our, 'Outdoor Experience' held true to the literal with an emphasis on, 'Experience.'
We had a conversation two days ago on spirtuality. I cannot seem to separate my understanding of myself and spirituality from nature. Yet we are separate. How can this be?
In the woods I would spend hours in one spot watching the weather roll through overhead. There was never a need to move. And still, somehow in the evenings when I knew the boars were around, every sound had me turning, watching, wondering.
Bjorne, our guide tells us over and over that there is nothing to fear. After all we are the scary creature, we are the one that destroys, and not the other way around. Bjorne is insistent but always kind. He seems to know everything there could be to know about just anything. One night he talks to us about chemistry. In the days he shows us how to create our own shelters, make fire, purify water, find food, the list goes on.
Bjorne is a wonder. He even teaches us a few songs, and improvises into ours. he gives us weather forecasts shares stories and even breaks into small jigs every now and then.
I was never bored, and somehow I can't think of what exactly I was doing. Sometimes I drank coffee for what could have been 5 min. or an hour. On sunny days I chased the sun through the trees, making beds in the moss and....
There were many precious conversations.
Sometimes the overwhelm of the end and the beginning all mixed up in one would leave me empty.
The End & The Beginning.
Building the fireplace.
The first fire.
Irvine's first fish.
Dressed up with some herbs.
A few wild, a few store bought.
Our water purification system.
Layers of stone, sand, charcoal and dried reeds = drinking water.
In one image, what this year has been all about.
Heartfelt friendships and conversations.
Excerpt from 'The Alchemist'. My friend and guide during this week.
" My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer," the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.
Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse that the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity."
The International Youth Initiative Program
I am a Yippie class of 2013/2014. These are findings, thoughts and captured moments of mine from here in Jarna, Sweden.